The auto industry is a multi-billion dollar business aiming to stay on top of the cutting-edge of technology, yes? So why are so many cars mired in bizarre, redundant and needlessly complicated design? Here’s my top ten list of the puzzling, the ill-thought out and the aggravating.
1. Incomprehensible, slow, lame nav systems
Every driver I know prefers their phone to the clunky, slow, outdated auto nav systems of today. My phone has never displayed “Route Not Found,” when I enter ”123 Main Street,” nor has it ever said “You have arrived at your destination” when I’m looking at an empty field. You also shouldn't have to look up where the "Cancel route" icon is after spending ten minutes trying to figure out where they've buried it. And how about letting a passenger set the nav system while the car is in motion, instead of disabling it across the board when moving?
2 . Passenger seats whose seat-belt alarm goes off when all that’s there is a couple of books, or a gallon of milk.
Passenger seat belt protecting red fedora
Josh Max
Because you wouldn't your dozen eggs and bag of coffee to go through the windshield.
3. Automatic directional canceling.
You’re sitting at a stop sign, waiting to make a left turn. A bicyclist goes by and screams, “Hey! Use your @#@$#$ signal!” But you have deployed the signal - the car canceled it when you wiggled the wheel left and right for whatever reason. So you turn the signal on again and mumble, “I hate this thing.” As interesting as the self-canceling technology is when you research it, I'd prefer negotiating around the person with their signal on for 20 miles than deal with self-canceling blinkers. Also, none of my motorcycles have self-canceling features - you just have to remember, like a person.
4. Sound systems that deploy the second you start the car
At least two manufacturers feature a “MUTE” button for their sound system rather than an “ON/OFF” button, so the driver is blasted within a few seconds of starting the vehicle. Frequently you can’t immediately turn it off by stabbing at the button, either – you have to lower the volume, or in the case of digital volume control, you have to take your eyes off the driveway or road, find the volume, and stab stab stab to get it to shut up.
5. Sound systems that don’t stay on when you shut the car off
Those of us who live for music usually find ourselves rolling up to a destination with a tune cranked, wanting to sit and groove until the song is over. Or maybe there’s a breaking news story we want to listen to. Regardless, some vehicles let you sit there a few minutes and everything stays on. We like those.
But other vehicles shut down the electricity when you turn off the ignition, so you either have to sit with the engine on and waste gas, or shut down and push the ignition button again to get the alternator to deploy and finish your listen – with a 30-second gap of silence so you miss Slash’s solo or the punchline of the comedian. Remember the days of keys, and ALT? Those were good days.
6. Nav systems requiring you push "Ok" after not reading and heeding the advice of the caution screen.
You know that screen that pops up when you press “Nav,” delivering a dire warning statement and asking you to push “agree?” You know, that warning you read the first time you programmed the system and that you haven’t looked at for, say, the 1,000 times since?
Lose the warning, guys – it helps nobody, and if you’re going to issue a warning for that, you also need warnings that say “I agree not to look for something in the back seat while driving 70 MPH” or “I agree not to shave, brush my teeth, put on makeup, read a book, engage in sexual activity, play air guitar or argue with my significant other while I’m driving."
7. Shifter wheels
A wheel is for steering your car, a wheel is for a hamster, a wheel is for wagon-wheel pasta. It’s not for shifting. This issue isn’t just about looks, though. Shifting via a wheel requires the driver take their eyes from the road, especially annoying when you need to quickly shift from drive to reverse to drive quickly, like when you’re parallel parking or executing a K-turn in a tight space. Ditch the shifter wheels, guys, and give us our stalks!
8. Overly sensitive mouse pads.
Some center console mouse pads are so sensitive you can merely frown at them and the needle will jet to the opposite side of the screen, making anything you try to do with the system take 5 times longer than in other manufacturers’ vehicles. When the car is moving, especially over bumps, forget it - your finger will get jarred and make it impossible to operate the mouse.
I’m talking to you, Lexus.
9. Power windows that try to help you.
This is the way it should be: I put my finger on the window control button and push or pull, the window goes up or down partially or fully, and when I’m done I let go and the window stays where it is, rather than “I touch the button, let go and the window opens all the way. I touch the button again, let go and the window goes all the way up.” Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
10. “Object detecting software” that you can’t disable
It’s nice to know if you’re about to brush a brick wall or other potentially hazardous exterior object, including people and animals, but I had an exotic car for a week in an Air BNB with a long, skinny driveway buttressed on either side by high cement walls. Whenever I pulled into or out of the driveway, the car would relentlessly beep at me left and right, like it was a referee calling a wrestling match.
1. Incomprehensible, slow, lame nav systems
Every driver I know prefers their phone to the clunky, slow, outdated auto nav systems of today. My phone has never displayed “Route Not Found,” when I enter ”123 Main Street,” nor has it ever said “You have arrived at your destination” when I’m looking at an empty field. You also shouldn't have to look up where the "Cancel route" icon is after spending ten minutes trying to figure out where they've buried it. And how about letting a passenger set the nav system while the car is in motion, instead of disabling it across the board when moving?
2 . Passenger seats whose seat-belt alarm goes off when all that’s there is a couple of books, or a gallon of milk.
Passenger seat belt protecting red fedora
Josh Max
Because you wouldn't your dozen eggs and bag of coffee to go through the windshield.
3. Automatic directional canceling.
You’re sitting at a stop sign, waiting to make a left turn. A bicyclist goes by and screams, “Hey! Use your @#@$#$ signal!” But you have deployed the signal - the car canceled it when you wiggled the wheel left and right for whatever reason. So you turn the signal on again and mumble, “I hate this thing.” As interesting as the self-canceling technology is when you research it, I'd prefer negotiating around the person with their signal on for 20 miles than deal with self-canceling blinkers. Also, none of my motorcycles have self-canceling features - you just have to remember, like a person.
4. Sound systems that deploy the second you start the car
At least two manufacturers feature a “MUTE” button for their sound system rather than an “ON/OFF” button, so the driver is blasted within a few seconds of starting the vehicle. Frequently you can’t immediately turn it off by stabbing at the button, either – you have to lower the volume, or in the case of digital volume control, you have to take your eyes off the driveway or road, find the volume, and stab stab stab to get it to shut up.
5. Sound systems that don’t stay on when you shut the car off
Those of us who live for music usually find ourselves rolling up to a destination with a tune cranked, wanting to sit and groove until the song is over. Or maybe there’s a breaking news story we want to listen to. Regardless, some vehicles let you sit there a few minutes and everything stays on. We like those.
But other vehicles shut down the electricity when you turn off the ignition, so you either have to sit with the engine on and waste gas, or shut down and push the ignition button again to get the alternator to deploy and finish your listen – with a 30-second gap of silence so you miss Slash’s solo or the punchline of the comedian. Remember the days of keys, and ALT? Those were good days.
6. Nav systems requiring you push "Ok" after not reading and heeding the advice of the caution screen.
You know that screen that pops up when you press “Nav,” delivering a dire warning statement and asking you to push “agree?” You know, that warning you read the first time you programmed the system and that you haven’t looked at for, say, the 1,000 times since?
Lose the warning, guys – it helps nobody, and if you’re going to issue a warning for that, you also need warnings that say “I agree not to look for something in the back seat while driving 70 MPH” or “I agree not to shave, brush my teeth, put on makeup, read a book, engage in sexual activity, play air guitar or argue with my significant other while I’m driving."
7. Shifter wheels
A wheel is for steering your car, a wheel is for a hamster, a wheel is for wagon-wheel pasta. It’s not for shifting. This issue isn’t just about looks, though. Shifting via a wheel requires the driver take their eyes from the road, especially annoying when you need to quickly shift from drive to reverse to drive quickly, like when you’re parallel parking or executing a K-turn in a tight space. Ditch the shifter wheels, guys, and give us our stalks!
8. Overly sensitive mouse pads.
Some center console mouse pads are so sensitive you can merely frown at them and the needle will jet to the opposite side of the screen, making anything you try to do with the system take 5 times longer than in other manufacturers’ vehicles. When the car is moving, especially over bumps, forget it - your finger will get jarred and make it impossible to operate the mouse.
I’m talking to you, Lexus.
9. Power windows that try to help you.
This is the way it should be: I put my finger on the window control button and push or pull, the window goes up or down partially or fully, and when I’m done I let go and the window stays where it is, rather than “I touch the button, let go and the window opens all the way. I touch the button again, let go and the window goes all the way up.” Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
10. “Object detecting software” that you can’t disable
It’s nice to know if you’re about to brush a brick wall or other potentially hazardous exterior object, including people and animals, but I had an exotic car for a week in an Air BNB with a long, skinny driveway buttressed on either side by high cement walls. Whenever I pulled into or out of the driveway, the car would relentlessly beep at me left and right, like it was a referee calling a wrestling match.
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